The Dumbest Use of Technology in Sports History.


(Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)

I have seen Stanley C. Panther up close and personal, and the 56th NHL All Star Game has him beat, by far, in one important category.  Clownshoes.

Before I cut loose the barn doors and flat out rant, let me assure you that the game was perhaps the most entertaining midseason exhibition ever.  It actually seemed like it meant a little something in the end.  It featured a huge comeback by the West, a thrilling late lead change, and the showcasing of Rick Nash the True Stud.  It even got the crowd in Atlanta all loud and hollerin’, as their favored Eastern Conference All-Stars buried a final biscuit with 20 seconds left for the win.

Now let’s talk clownshoes.  Versus Channel had the bright idea to install some kind of bluetooth voyeur contraption in the goalie masks.  Rick DiPietro and Manny Legace were stupid enough to fall for it.  We are all enriched this morning, since it was the dumbest use of technology in sports history.  Our entire living room exploded in belly laughs and shouts of disbelief.  It went down like this.

Doc Emrick decided to start prodding DiPietro for comments as soon as they dropped the puck to start the game.  It was a classic WTF moment:

Doc: So there is some talk about you getting banged up in the Skills competition last night.  How serious is your injury?

DiPietro:  Ah, I’m a little bit nicked but…   Oof!

Yes, sportsfans, it’s true.  12 seconds.  A new record for the fastest goal in NHL All-Star history, courtesy of the dumbest use of technology in sports history.  Later in the game, when the contest was on the line, Legace actually carried on a decent conversation for a while.  Then he gave up the tying goal in the middle of his reflections on a future as a sportscaster.  Not yet Manny, focus on the puck.

Hilarious, gut-busting, wonderful stuff.  Thanks to Versus Channel, thanks to the NHL, thanks to the two netminders who gave us such wonderful memories.  A good time was had by all.


Filed under Rambles, Sports

13 responses to “The Dumbest Use of Technology in Sports History.

  1. Caitlin

    Did you watch last year’s All-Star game? Marty Turco flat out would tell the announcers to “hold on a sec” whenever the going got rough so he could take care of business. There’s very few guys that can retain focus and talk to the announcers upstairs, so I think Turco kind of set a standard that’s hard to beat.

    Then again, I could be biased because I’m a Stars fan….

  2. Pookie

    I beg to disagree, Rian! I adore having the goaltenders talk to the announcers during play. I find the on-ice cameras and that ridiculous Rail Cam from last year try hard to bring the audience onto the ice and into the game but they never work. However, hearing the goalies talking while interacting with the other players and while reacting to the game itself is so immediate. I love it. Obviously I don’t want to see it in real games, but for a fluffy event like an All-Star game, I think it’s brilliant!

    That’s what makes a horse race, right? 🙂

  3. Absolutely. I can see your point, I just couldn’t get over the fact that they didn’t even give DiPietro a chance to get his legs before they started blabbing away. Funny, funny stuff.

  4. I’m with Pookie on this one: It doesn’t matter because the event is all about the fun. Yeah, it’s a tough call to meet, being focused with a mic in your helmet. Still, it was fun, and didn’t detract from the game… after all, the East won! Take away Nash’s goal and you have a game with… one less goal.

    I’ve argued more than once that the key is to keep the casual fans happy with the All Star Game. For hardcore fans, it’ll never do, because hitting and defense are both undermined. So get those fans who watch other sports casually involved. People love mics in football helmets; Why not appeal to them by doing it with the goalies. Who knows, you may even build a fanbase in Atlanta!

  5. Amy

    I thought DiPietro was actually really funny on the mic this weekend. He was pretty good natured about the goal, heh. I like stuff like mic-ing up the goalies during the game, just b/c they have to do something to keep things interesting. What I’ve always wanted to see was a mic in the penalty box. Now THERE’s potential for comic gold. 🙂

  6. sauer kraut

    Athletes should focus on the game while they are on the playing field. It’s stuff like this that stains sports. Let them become Terry Bradshaw AFTER they’ve hit the showers.

  7. To be fair, it was the All-Star game. And it was funny as hell. It was like adding extra weight in a horse race. Those two goalies had to work harder than everyone else. And in the end, it bit them in the earphone!

    Good times.

  8. coollikeme

    What about an outdoor NHL all star game?

  9. Sounds like a plan. What city would be best?

    (I vote Vancouver.)

  10. I LOVE that picture of all the mascots!

    I really liked Pretty Ricky’s on-ice yammering, but yeah, it didn’t make for very good goaltending. 😛

  11. booktoots

    Let the goalies concentrate on the game and do their job – All Star Game or not. How would Mike Emrick like someone interrupting him while he’s blabbing away? (By the way…that guy talks way too much.)

    If a microphone is to be used, I agree with Amy… put one in the penalty box. Now that would be funny… 🙂

  12. I thought DiPietro was hilarious when he said that his hip was killing him and that’s why he let that one in. Doc asked how bad it was and DiPietro said, “Oh, I’m just kidding.” 😀

  13. Hahaha. Great observation, FBT. Hey, it brings entertainment to a game meant for entertaining. Rock on, bud.

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