Thursday Thirteen: Fortune Cookies in Bed.


We eat chinese buffet as often as we can afford it.  I love checking off the number of different species in my belly when we are done.  Then, the cookies.

Ten or twelve years ago, we started adding the words “in bed” at the end of every fortune.  It is really fun to play in large groups after a good meal.  Laughter helps the digestion.  Today I play with you.  Let me share the last thirteen slips of paper we pulled from our fortune cookies.  In bed.

1. “The stars appear every night.” … in bed.

2.  “Consider gain and loss, but never be greedy.” … in bed.

3.  “This is a good time to consider formally helping others.” … in bed.

4.  “You’ll have all sorts of chances to make a happy encounter.” … in bed.

5.  “You can depend on the trust of the collective.” … in bed.

6.  “Happier days are definitely ahead for you, struggle has ended.” … in bed.

7.  “Rely on your own good judgement to lead you to success.”  … in bed.

8.  “Sincerity is the finest point of communication.” … in bed.

9.  “Set high goals.” … in bed.

10.  “Take the initiative and others will support you.” … in bed.

11.  “The last thing you need sharpened is your tongue.” … in bed.

12. “Aspire to be great, then give everything you have.” … in bed.

13.  “Grasp the opportunities that are coming your way.”  … in bed.

So that’s what happens when the crumbs hit the sheets in our house.  You can grab a fortune online right now by clicking around in here, and then you need to make your own list of recent prophecies and link it to: … in bed.


Filed under Thursday Thirteen.

46 responses to “Thursday Thirteen: Fortune Cookies in Bed.

  1. Flying Monkey


    great list, I enjoyed it very much! Come check out the NASTIEST THING over on my blog!

  2. Funny… I love number 8. We used to do this in college!

  3. Good idea. Fun.

    The Pink Flamingo

  4. Our food supplier at college here has fortune cookies, and we do the same thing. Some of them just seem to be begging for the “in bed” treatment. Some are just weird. Some are obscure unless you add “in bed” which just makes it kind of worse, as they are asking for it.

  5. Before travelling to St Lucia back in November, I got “You will spend the rest of your life by the sea”… even without the obligatory “in bed!” addition, it was quite timely and thought provoking – either I was going to stay in St Lucia rather than return to Canada, or I was going to die there.

    My own contribution to your list:

    “This insert has a protective coating”… in bed!

    Practice safe fortune cookie-ing, kids!

  6. We do that “in bed” thing too. It is funny!

  7. Hahaha. When I was about 12, my dad introduced me to the “…in bed” thing. I think mine said something like “You will have new and exciting experiences”… bed.

    My dad turned red. Needless to say, he hasn’t asked me to add “in bed” to the end of my fortunes anymore. LOL!~

  8. Hmmm. Lots going on in your bed it seems!

  9. cricket51

    Adding in bed definitely puts a different spin on most of these!

  10. A few of those do seem familiar.

  11. God, you are such a weirdo. In a good way… of course, it’s not like I haven’t done this EXACT thing. Maybe that’s why I know a true weirdo when I see one! 😉 Damn we need to have Chinese food now!

    Cheers! Happy TT!

  12. Great list! I’ve known others that add “in bed” to their fortune cookies and seeing it as you’ve presented makes me understand how funny it can be. 😉

  13. oknatalie

    We say that too. 🙂

    Happy TT!

  14. Hahaha… The “in bed” part certainly put a twist to your fortunes! :o)

  15. That was a lot of fun! God bless…in bed.

  16. I love the …in bed game. We had Chinese tonight, in fact, but I let the kids have my cookie. 😦 The things we moms sacrifice!

  17. Some of those… I don’t know if I should laugh or be embarrassed. I think I did both!

  18. we have done that too but sometimes it produces quite the blush

  19. This is hilarious! You have an original TT! I love it!

  20. “You can depend on the trust of the collective in bed”

    Sounds like a fortune straight out of one of my poly stories. 🙂

    This was all hilarious, thank you. And I’m using the fortune generator in a story some day!


  21. Lib

    LOL I always have fun doing this. Did it in school, do it still now with hubby. Sparks some interesting conversations!

    Happy T13! Everyone! My T13 this week is project related

  22. Dude, that’s so cheating to post before Thursday :p

  23. that’s a great game! I’ve played the ‘knob’ game (here’s hoping you’re not easily offended) which is less mature but still funny… I think it would probably work with other words… you replace ‘love’ in song lyrics.

  24. Well THAT changes everything! When my sons were young we went through a period where we put a HEAD at the end of everyone’s last names and almost everyone was then funny.

  25. rofl! toooooooooo funny! i love it!
    happy t13!

  26. marnini

    Funny! Oddly enough, in bed went pretty well with all of them.

    You could make your own fortune cookies and actually include the word in bed at the end. That would make for a fun dinner party. Your guest would be shocked to open their fortune and read the words that you created at the end.
    Have fun-in bed.

  27. Wow! That post definitely had me laughing.

    I hadn’t done that in years. Anyway, I headed over to that fortune cookie link that you gave and here is what I got…

    ” You desire recognition and you will find it” in bed.

    Have a great day!

  28. That’s funny! Never thought of that twist. 😀

  29. That’s the only way to read fortune cookies! Fun list!

  30. hilarious….gave me a topic idea, now to start collecting fortune cookies.
    I have a goofy one in my book of topics to come.

  31. I love 3 and 4 and 12. But 11 bothers me a lot. I don’t want to sharpen ANYTHING in bed PERIOD. Let alone my tongue.

  32. I had Chinese today but they don’t give out fortune cookies. I feel left out.

  33. Funny…we used to play that game with the title of hymns when we were in church (not that we weren’t listening to the sermon!)

  34. This game never fails to amuse!

  35. My fortune cookies said, “Now is the time to be candid and above board in all things. . . between the sheets.” Hmm. Great post.

  36. What a fun list! I love looking at the fortune cookie prophecies, too!

  37. I am oddly inspired this evening . . . before bed. Love the list.

  38. My boyfriend started that a couple years ago…we both love chinese food and when he’d read the fortunes, he’d always add “in bed”. I thought he was being funny/romantic — little did I know it’s a common thing! Don’t worry tho….I won’t call him on it!! Very cute TT!

  39. Those are hilarious!

    ‘Those whom heaven helps we call the sons of heaven…in bed.’ Hmmm.

    Thanks for visiting ours!:
    13 Great Works of Art to be Found in NYC

  40. I usually play that game with “in my pants” instead of “in bed”
    it doesn’t make sense all the time with fortune cookies, but works like a charm with books/films/songs titles.

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