Tag Archives: hellboy

Joe Quesada Wants Squirrel Girl To End Dark Reign.

DarkReign   squirrelgirl

Comic-Con 2009 has just gone transcendent. It happened during the Marvel Comics panel discussing their massive ongoing inter-title event known as Dark Reign.

Dark Reign is one of those messy affairs that threatens to destroy the very fabric of the Marvel Universe. Norman Osborn, that guy who throws little pumpkin bombs, is the main mastermind threatening world destruction. No one knows who, when, or how he will be stopped.

If Joe Quesada has his way, Dark Reign will end with a bushy red tail.

During the panel discussion, the conversation turned to Squirrel Girl:

Fan in the audience: “Does she kick Norman’s ass?

Joe Quesada: “You read my mind, I want her to be the end of this!”

Dear Joe, we want that too. We realize that you were probably joking, and that you don’t have the power to make it happen on your own. Please consider it anyway.

Thank you.

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Save-It Saturday: X-Babies Attack!

xbabiesattack

That is the card that I never imagined would be printed. The final card in the final official expansion set. Here follows the article that inspired its appearance in reality.

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Risk Vs. Reward: X-Babies Attack!
By Rian Fike
9/3/2007

Marvel Legends fulfills quite a few fanboy desires, not the least of which is a major upgrade in the power level of the X-Men. The new mutants are mighty good, especially the little ones.

Forty long months I have been patiently waiting for Domino in our game. When it comes to the mythological ladies, she is just my type: high contrast, luck based, and nearly impossible to kill. Now we get to turn her sideways Vs. System style, thanks to a 1-drop with a freaky little ability. Big fun comes in small cardboard packages.

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Our tiny new Domino packs a large punch with her recovery ability, but you need to be rather odd to use it. Before we talk about where she will take us in the game, let’s see where she came from in the myths.

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Neena Thurman plays well with others, but most of the time, she is a freelance mercenary. Domino is an independent artist, and her medium is murder. She was born as a custom-engineered biological killing machine. Project Armageddon created her as a deadly human hybrid. The hideous experiment was an attempt to manufacture the perfect weapon. X genes were exploited with disastrous results.

Neena was one of only two surviving test organisms. Chalk-white skin, awesome black eye-patch, and the uncanny ability to be in exactly the right place at the right time. She was rescued from the nefarious laboratory and placed safely in a nurturing monastery to grow up. Domino eventually emerged into adult life and became a dynamite addition to the X-Force.

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As a member of Cable’s Six-Pack, the black-and-white hottie could really save the bacon when necessary. Her mutant abilities kick in subconsciously when she is in a dangerous situation. Domino cannot specifically control her luck powers the same way Longshot can, but when she is around, things always fall into place.

In Vs. System, that means she can keep herself and Cable flipped face-up at the beginning of the recovery phase every turn. There is only one catch. Your deck must have a built-in oddness about it. Check out Domino’s text:

Domino, Neena Thurman

Cost: 1

Team Affiliation: X-Men

Whenever a Cable or Domino you control becomes stunned, reveal the top card of your deck. If its cost is odd, recover that character at the start of the recovery phase this turn.

2 ATK / 1DEF
Ranged

My personal oddness often revolves around 1-cost Vs. System characters, and now they fulfill Domino’s board-maintaining probability powers. Before we jump into the construction of a deck to showcase this former test-tube baby, let’s look back at a list that caused some serious wailing at Pro Circuit Indianapolis 2007. We can use it as a basic template.

OutSoldiers

Phou Phommavong

5th place on Day 1, 21st overall

Pro Circuit Indianapolis 2007

Characters

14 Kree Soldiers

3 Owen Mercer ◊ Captain Boomerang Jr., Prodigal Son

2 Faust

3 Technocrat

1 Thunder, Anissa Pierce

1 Halo

1 Wylde

4 Kimiyo Hoshi ◊ Dr. Light, Sunburst

Plot Twists

4 Booze Elementals

4 Forged in Crisis

4 Batman and the Outsiders

4 Truth and Justice

4 Recruiting Drive

3 Poker Night

Locations

3 Hala

1 New Baxter Building

Equipment

3 Ego Gem

1 Reality Gem

Phou’s metagame masterpiece took our beloved Kim Hoshi to a place that I was not sure she could go, and it will remain forever as an inspiration to weenie lovers worldwide. It serves up a swarm of 1-cost characters to fuel the blinding glory of the female Dr. Light and her Outsiders tricks. Let’s translate it into baby talk using only Marvel Legends cards.

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X-Babies Attack!

Characters

12 Multiple Man, Army ◊ Madrox

4 Domino

4 Cable, Nathan Summers

4 Wolverine, Logan

1 Jubilee, Mallrat

1 Shadowcat, Phase Shifter

1 Blink

1 Nightcrawler, Man of the Cloth

1 Bishop, Time Cop

Plot Twists

4 Bodyslide

4 Mobilize

4 Fastball Special

3 Battle Tactics

3 Healing Factor

3 Berserker Rage

3 Sneak Attack

3 Adamantium Claws

2 Overwhelming Force

Locations

2 Xavier’s Institute of Higher Learning

Phou’s OutSoldiers deck uses Kree Soldiers as fodder for a team-attacking character advantage. X-Babies are going Madrox. Multiple Man is back with a printed X-Men affiliation, and he loves him some Fastball Special. The OutSoldiers bounce guys back to hand to fill the red card requirements of the focus on swarming. X-Babies will rely on recovery to keep the characters on the table each turn. Phou’s win condition was total board control with Kim Hoshi. Domino is aiming for beatdown and burn with Bodyslide.

Cable is a perfect fit for the X-Babies deck. He appeared as an infant in Cable and Deadpool #7, and he has a sweet little 3-drop that rocks. Here is his heated text:

Cable, Nathan Summers

Cost: 3

Team Affiliation: X-Men

When Cable enters play, target opponent loses 1 endurance for each X-Men character you control.

5ATK / 4 DEF

Ranged

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With a mom like Madelyne Pryor, it was inevitable that Nathan Summers would come out looking good. Cyclops is his father, so you know he is a gifted child. Marvel Legends gives Cable his eagerly anticipated Vs. System debut. Bodyslide makes him an intriguing addition to any deckbuilder’s repertoire.

Bodyslide

Plot Twist

Cost: 3

Play only if you control Cable.

Remove target non-stunned character you control from the game. Its owner puts it into play at the start of your next attack step.

That means that Cable, Nathan Summers could swerve out of the game during the draw phase and allow another copy to be recruited. If his playmates have formed a kiddie six-pack to greet him, he will burn for 7. Then the fresh copy can Bodyslide out and return at the beginning of your attack step with its temporal twin. The first copy grabs another 7 opposing endurance, followed by 8 more from its parallel partner. That’s hot stuff.

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In the myths, Cable can slip in and out of time. He spends his days trying to save the world by altering history. That is a sticky business, but it allows more costume changes than any comic book character I can think of. Whenever and wherever Cable shows up, he is always sporting a sharp new outfit.

There are only six cards in the X-Babies deck that have an even cost, so Domino will be a near lock to get lucky. The new Battle Tactics that the X-men have been given are like a turbo-charged Combat Protocols, and they cost 2. Overwhelming Force allows the team-attacking toddlers to remain unstunned, also at a cost of 2. The single copy of Bishop, Time Cop is the 4-drop babysitter. If you let Bishop try the Bodyslide, the kids will laugh their way around the table screaming “+4 ATK!” for the whole turn.

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No X-Babies deck would be complete without a little Wolverine. The Logan version is back in Marvel Legends, and for a 3-drop, he is a really big boy. Scruffy may actually become the favorite win condition of the deck. He has some major ATK pumps that last an entire turn. The nursery includes toys that keep him from being stunned, recover him when he is, and ready him for a fur-flying finish. A small set of adamantium fingernails are poised to rip big holes in opposing characters and endurance totals. Wolverine’s Berserker Rage is about to arrive as a viable Vs. System strategy, and the X-Babies deck is only the beginning.

I have no idea how well the tiny tikes will hold up against proven classic decks. I can’t tell if there will be equally massive forces to oppose as the other new Marvel Legends creations crawl from the incubator. The only way to find out will be to build the deck and give it a go. I leave the little mutant rug rats with you now so that you can help me test them. We will say goodbye with a quote from Cable himself. When Nathan Summers revived Apocalypse in order to unite the X-Men against a common enemy, everyone called him crazy. His response?

“The risks are worth the rewards.”

Rian Fike is also known as stubarnes and he has a kitchen table in his crib. If you do some testing with the X-Babies in your playpen, send the results to fullbodytransplant@dadeschools.net

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Vs. System Original Art: Liz Sherman.

lizsherman

If I have said it once, I have said it a thousand times. One of my most cherished memories in all of Vs. System history is the unveiling of Liz Sherman’s Uncontrolled Power.

We learned recently that Mike Mignola and his wife personally gave the green light to the artwork on this myth-busting cardboard masterpiece, although the original Dave Johnson painting was a bit too blue.  Here’s the before and after.  I still can’t believe I was a part of it. Liz never, ever, ever looked like this in the comics or the movies.  Only in our beloved trading card game. Forever.

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lizshermanagain

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Blurring the Distinction: From Art to Reality.

zinco

The art on that card has always made me scratch my head and wonder how I got so lucky. As an integral part of Vs. System’s history, that little proud zinco product not only brought one of Mike Mignola’s most magnificent paintings to real life on the Pro Circuit, it cemented something special inside of me.

See, here’s how it goes. One person crystallizes a myth in words and imagery. Then a whole bunch of others celebrate it and expand its existence in the collective psi-bank. Finally, the commercial conglomerate sanctions it with official releases. Continuity and canon arise from imagination, and we all live happily ever after.

What am I babbling about on this glorious Sunday morning? The myth of Hellboy, of course. Specifically the link between a fan-created Playmobil set that was eventually purchased by Mike Mignola himself, and our beloved Vs. System cardboard incarnations.  Feast your eyes.

anugunrama1

anugunramacard

roger

rogercard

johannkrauss

johannkrausscard

liz1

lizcard

abe

abecard

kroenen

kroenencard

rasputin1

rasputincard

box

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Hellboy + Liz Sherman = Bliss.

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hellboylizsherman

(The best Liz Sherman I have seen, by Roc Upchurch.)

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Flipping cards has never been finer. For the second weekend in a row, Nina and I have been turning Hellboy and Liz sideways on the kitchen table until the tentacles explode the moon and rain down from the heavens. Last night our seven-game series came down to the final swing, and I had the firestarter’s Uncontrollable Power ready to burn for the win.

Hottest. Cardboard. Ever.
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Filed under Comic Books, Vs. System, Weekend in Heaven

Heavenly Hellboy.

somethingiscoming

The Hellboy Essential Collection contains the only 60-card constructed Vs. System decks ever produced for public consumption. It remains the pinnacle of mythological madness and trading card game bliss. Mike Mignola personally painted a large portion of the exquisite artwork, while Matt Hyra made sure the mechanics were magnificent tightness. It worked perfectly, in ways that still blow me away.

Nina and I have played two seven-game series so far this weekend. We switched teams for each house championship, with Thule Society claiming both rings. The first was 4-2, the second 4-3. The decks are wonderfully balanced. Each team has two different themes. It is the most fun we have had playing Vs. System, maybe ever.

Before we start the next series, I want to share some of the intense mythological eye candy that we have been wallowing in all weekend. Rub your eyes and blink, this stuff is for real.

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rasputin

Those are the original unpublished designs for the insert sleeves in the UDeck boxes. The final illustrations for the outer box holds just the arcane antiquity, without the illustrations.

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The rulebook included in this set is, perhaps, the best single item that Upper Deck Entertainment has ever produced. Comprehensive, creative, colorful, and cool as anything else in the world.

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As I mentioned earlier, Mike Mignola himself did most of the paintings for the cards. Kroenen drips in eternal cardboard glory because of it.

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That is Ryan Sook’s hot take on Liz Sherman. If I have said it once, I have said it a thousand times. Our game took her places she never would have gone in the comics.

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Alex Garner broke off the horns…

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Tim Townsend accepted the destiny…

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… and Jason Pearson hilariously illustrated the biggest little beats we have ever seen.

That’s all the time I have to share the beauty of the Hellboy Essential Collection, I need to shuffle up and flip some cards. If you need more words, you can check out the Little Red Men deck that we built as a community.

I will see you back here soon, on the other side of Hellboy Heaven.

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Save-It Saturday: Sadu-Hem.

tentacles1 sadu-hem

This Weekend In Heaven will be spent with the Thule Society and its creepy cardboard characters, playing the Hellboy Essential Collection until our eyeballs  fall out and sprout Ancient Godlings. While we turn Mike Mignola’s terrific translations of the Old Ones sideways on our kitchen table, you can wallow in an article almost exactly two years old today. How big can it be?

Risk Vs. Reward: Major Mythological Figures

Rian Fike
View all articles by this author

Truth may be stranger than fiction, but that doesn’t stop the artist from trying. With modern creative technology blurring the distinction so drastically, who’s counting anyway? Hellboy, that’s who.

The Hellboy Essential Collection has brought an entirely new level of realistic interaction to a fictional mythos that was already a huge part of many people’s lives. This comic book character has a rabid following. His dedicated devotees constantly strive to make him as tangible as they possibly can. They create authentic B.P.R.D. identification badges and hand out Lobster Johnson calling cards that simply say “Fiction?” These people are real freaks, and I like it.

Hellboy has also been captured on powerful cardboard and is now ready to turn sideways on the kitchen table. As I wax poetic about the powers and interactions of our newest Vs. System playing pieces, we will also be treated to a symphony of sculpture from the community of die-hard Hellboy fans around the globe. There are some very serious artists who have a very serious crush on Mike Mignola’s baby. Their skills with clay take the myth and stretch it into taffy. Get ready for a visual treat. Your eyes will be exhausted when we are done.

I got the call from the local gaming store and tried to keep my heart from beating out of my chest. It was here. The first set of full-sized, pre-fabricated Vs. System Constructed decks had arrived in Miami. Gravity slowed me down a bit, but within a few blinks, my Mini Cooper was sitting in front of the shop and the treasure was gripped firmly in my hands.

I drove straight home to my wife. We ripped off the outer covering and shuffled up. As soon as Liz Sherman’s uncontrollable power hit the board, I knew the match was destined to become a classic. Nina’s Baba Yaga welcomed the squirming mass of Sadu-Hem to her side of the board, and we settled in for a turn 8 of epic proportions. It was a beautiful thing.

The 7-drop Liz isn’t the only thing that stokes the home fires to new temperature thresholds in our house. Each sixty-card deck contains two different, satisfying strategies. The characters, equipment, plot twists, and locations are fascinating in both theme and function. The Pancakes are especially delicious.

Constantly vigilant against the forces of metaphysical evil, the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense has all kinds of tricks up their collective sleeves. They can cover the ground with support troops in the form of U.S. Army Rangers. They have been blessed with some of the best equipment tricks in the game, starting with Sidney Leach’s human metal-detecting abilities. Thomas Manning makes sure all his boys get a big bonus when they are packing toys. Both Ben Daimio and Lobster Johnson get gigantic grins when they have a gray card attached. The Weapons Lab allows them double the pleasure and double the fun.

But wait! That’s not the only way that the B.P.R.D. can mash the monsters on the other side of the Vs. System equation. When the big red dude enters the picture, things change. Hellboy works best by himself and he doesn’t mind telling his friends to get lost. This team affiliation follows his lead for their second theme, giving major advantage to any character willing to fight alone. Sometimes they like to have a hidden force, as well. As long as you only show the face of one visible character, the B.P.R.D. becomes as formidable as any group the game has ever seen.

I have spoken of this before, and it is my favorite part of the Hellboy Essential Collection. Three of Mike Mignola’s myths are being developed more fully than ever before thanks to our beloved game. Karl Ruprecht Kroenen, Abe Sapien, and Liz Sherman are swelling with expanded power in their Vs. System incarnations. It fills my heart with joy and covers my kitchen table with some really hot fish.

I have a confession to make. Mulletman is not going to like it. The Thule Society has introduced a truly classic version name that now tops my list of all Vs. System cards ever printed. Hecate has been dubbed a “Major Mythological Figure.” That is even cooler than being a “Rebel Freedom Fighter” in my book. She is also even hotter than Abe Sapien (for a fish), and she was specifically designed to destroy his plans. Hecate has been around for nearly 3,000 years in the human imagination, and now she is pulling characters out of the hidden area left and right. Her power is not limited to opposing threats, either. She is strong stuff for an environment dependant on concealment. Getting the black-bordered cards into the visible area where you can gain advantage with them can often set the stage for some late-game Cthulhu-style madness, with the Sadu-Hem sucking the life right out of your horrified opponent and transmuting it into a boost of endurance for the win.

Grigori Rasputin and the gang have been given an alternate win condition in the form of Project Ragna Rok, but that party doesn’t float my boat. I am drawn to the Damn Nazis and their squirrel-like nature. Especially since the 1-cost Army lovers of the world can now unleash a Plague of Frogs for some massive weenie beats.

“Thoolish Mortals”

Characters

12 Damn Nazis

4 Hellboy, Little Boy

6 Huge, Annoying Tentacles

4 Karl Ruprecht Kroenen

4 Klaus Werner von Krupt

1 Hecate

1 Black Flame

Plot Twists

4 Plague of Frogs

4 Nasty Surprise

4 Flying Kick

4 Wake the Devil

4 Accept Your Destiny

4 Something is Coming

Locations

4 Cavendish Hall

That is my deck of choice for any tournaments or kitchen tables that will be using only the cards from the Hellboy Essential Collection. It is fairly simple in operation, underdropping a swarm of occult minions that receive major mythological pumps from a trio of plot twists and an evil project leader. Klaus Werner von Krupt often hands out +3 ATK to three different attackers in order to stun the opposing board and wipe it clean with Accept Your Destiny. Karl Ruprecht Kroenen has eighteen possible lucky revelations for topdecking, and they are cheap enough to recruit a few per turn. Hecate whips hidden threats out into the open with her tail so that Black Flame can start boosting like Bastion—if the match goes that far and demands a more curvy combination.

The tastiest trick that Thoolish Mortals can create begins when you realize that Something Is Coming immediately after you recruit Hellboy, Little Boy. When you flip Cavendish Hall, that baby gets really big. On turn 5 (with a Plague of Frogs or two), he can easily reach +20 ATK if all goes well. Sounds like my kind of fun.

Whether the Thoolish Mortals are good enough to win the upcoming City Championships remains to be seen. They will need to duke it out with Olympic Weenie Glory and get covered in War Paint first. Whichever one of my pet decks barks loudest during testing will be let off the chain to sink its teeth into the Miami metagame. Skating major mythological figure eights on the Vs. System battleground has never been sweeter, thanks to Hellboy and the Thule Society that he opposes.

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Filed under Comic Books, Save It Saturday, Vs. System, Weekend in Heaven

Cephalopod Classics.

strongerlovingworld

That’s the full page of the Watchmen squid, for the uninitiated. Aside from Shuma-Gorath in the Capcom video games, wiggly sucker-filled arms never looked better.

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Today’s inaugural edition of Cephalopod Classics will unveil the six nominees for Top Mythological Tentacles. Vote in the poll, and squirm with us in the comments, if you dare.

cthulhu

hellboytentacles

squidride

tentacles

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Save-It Saturday: Huge, Annoying Tentacles.

Here at Full Body Transplant we have been getting some sightseers surfing for squid. Watchmen squid, to be precise, but squid nonetheless. So, Save-It Saturday is serving historical calamari this morning as the next recipe in our archival soup.

The photograph at the top of this post is one of the crowning achievements of our time at Metagame. My magnificent Met-loving managing editor actually allowed me to photoshop myself and Matt Hyra into the halls of hysterical fake history. And we lived happily ever after.

So yeah. It’s not the Watchmen squid, it’s the huge, annoying tentacles from Hellboy. It’s copying over to the blog with bad spacing, and eventually the source links from the original will shut down and the images won’t load. It is delicious while it lasts, and there is nothing like squid for breakfast – or Save-It Saturday on a Sunday morning.

Bon appetit!

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Hellboy Preview: Huge, Annoying Tentacles and Karl Ruprecht Kroenen

Rian Fike
View all articles by this author

What are you afraid of?

If you are Selma Blair, the answer is simple: Huge, Annoying Tentacles. When she was creating Liz Sherman on film for Guillermo del Toro’s version of Mike Mignola’s Hellboy, Selma had to face her deepest, darkest phobia. This is what the brilliant actress had to say about her experience with Vs. System’s latest Army characters:

They actually scared me. Tentacles are the one thing I have problems with. In person, those tentacles were so terrifying, moving on their own and going everywhere. They really made me sick. I was repulsed, and you didn’t see them as much in the final cut because of it. Yeah, I don’t like them. I don’t like slugs or tentacles or calamari or anything. Tentacles made me turn into a vegetarian in high school. I’m not any more, but in high school, we were dissecting squid.

Huge, Annoying Tentacles scared the pants off the former winner of MTV’s Best Movie Kiss of the Year. Now they are going to be mad fun to play with on the kitchen table and in the tournament hall. They are non-unique Army characters and they are a near-perfect representation of the timeless fear that is unleashed and celebrated in the Hellboy Essential Collection. Let’s find out where these creepy crawlers came from.

When Mike Mignola first penned the legend of Hellboy, he drew upon the most hideous and horrible source material that humanity has ever known. Some of his inspiration was non-fiction, but that will need to wait until the second half of the article. Right now, we need to look toward H.P. Lovecraft.

Widely acknowledged as a master of modern horror, H.P. Lovecraft gave us Cthulhu. No single being carries as much weight when it comes to terrifying its audience. Cthulhu is one of the Old Ones, sometimes described as of the sum total of all human fear. Huge, Annoying Tentacles are its signature move. If you are having trouble pronouncing the name, don’t worry. Cthulhu cannot be spoken. Lovecraft himself explained it like this:

The actual sound—as nearly as human organs could imitate it or human letters record it—may be taken as something like Khlul’-hloo, with the first syllable pronounced gutturally and very thickly. The best approximation one can make is to grunt, bark, or cough the imperfectly formed syllables Cluh-Luh with the tip of the tongue firmly affixed to the roof of the mouth. That is, if one is a human being. Directions for other entities are naturally different.

Mike Mignola created the Ogdru Jahad as homage to Cthulhu and the Old Ones. Like its predecessor, this indescribable evil is an ageless being from the beginning of time. It continuously strives to destroy the world completely and throw us all into a state of utter chaos and madness. When Guillermo del Toro interpreted the Ogdru Jahad for his feature film, it had one resounding characteristic: it had Huge, Annoying Tentacles.

Luckily for us, Hellboy and the B.P.R.D eventually thwarted the Thule Society and their attempt to awaken the Ogdru Jahad. The world did not end, and we get to live on for many more games of Vs. System. For better or worse, there will now be Huge, Annoying Tentacles involved, and they will take some getting used to. Playing against these suckers can be exhausting.

The fear caused by this card turns any lower-cost Thule Society character into Rogue, Anna Raven. Aside from the upgrade in looks, why is that good? What is the benefit in attacking an exhausted character unless it is She-Hulk, Jennifer Walters? I hope you are ready, because there are some amazing powers that can answer those questions.

  1. Exhausted defenders are not able to attack back on your initiative turns. Huge, Annoying Tentacles will form the basis for some suicidal stall strategies. Since it gives its power to any smallish characters that it can team-up with, it has me dusting off the Armies of Qward and preparing a new world order for Army swarms.
  2. Whether or not you stun the defender that you turned sideways, you can stick it to the board for the next turn with Adhesive X or Nahrees.
  3. There are some amazing pumps that key off exhausted defenders. The Arkham Inmates are singing “Let’s Go Crazy” as we speak. Every character in the game is practicing their Sucker Punch for a Crushing Blow thanks to Huge, Annoying Tentacles.
  4. Two words: Golden Death.
  5. Some of the darkest, scariest characters that I know just got a whole lot better. Check out Charaxes, Drury Walker; Yelena Belova ◊ Black Widow; and Mystique, Villainous Shapeshifter. Huge, Annoying Tentacles will bring them out of the binder and turn them into the KO machines they were born to be.

As frightening as Huge, Annoying Tentacles are, there is another card in the Hellboy Essential Collection that takes even more of my breath away. Karl Ruprecht Kroenen will chill you to the bone. He is a character that Mike Mignola invented to personify the coldness and cruelty into which the human mind can condense when its sights are set on true evil. This is what happens when the warmth of the human heart is completely extinguished. The pulp version of Kroenen actually froze himself for years, waiting until the proper time for his apocalyptic agenda to be completed.

Over the course of their translation from comic book to feature film, both Liz Sherman and Karl Ruprecht Kroenen received a major upgrade and an expanded presence in the Hellboy mythos. Guillermo del Toro fleshed them out thoroughly, allowing Liz to love and Kroenen to kill. In the director’s hands, they became a yin/yang supernova of opposite power and symbolism. Their migration to Vs. System in the Hellboy Essential Collection captures these content extensions intact, and our cardboard contests are going to get wicked because of it.

Karl Ruprecht Kroenen is one of the most disturbing villains ever created. The skin-crawling evil that his character distills is nearly non-fiction. The Thule Society team affiliation that he represents is based on tragic historical fact. The bizarre and unsettling psychosis of surgical addiction that he unveils in the cinema is an all-too-real example of abnormal human behavior. This character is a true horror.

He is also nearly impossible to kill. This is neatly represented by his evasion ability. You can be assured of his presence for multiple turns, and at the beginning of each combat phase, he will be prepared to employ one of his twisted toys. If the top card of your deck is an Army character that has been brainwashed to follow the orders of the Thule Society as they continue their mission to ritualistically destroy the entire world, then Karl Ruprecht Kroenen will add it to your arsenal. He may find a natural minion with Huge, Annoying Tentacles, or he may expand his troops with a Team-Up. Either way, he brings a terrible beauty to the tortured eyes of Vs. System Army lovers everywhere.

What are you afraid of?

Rian Fike is also known as stubarnes and he is not afraid of anything that he can eat with hot sauce. He wishes that he really could meet Selma Blair, with or without Matt Hyra. If you wish to speak with him about some fears of your own, make an appointment at fullbodytransplant@dadeschools.net.

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New Life for Vs. System!

new-life

(Old School Sentinel Shoes can be tried on by clicking here.)

It’s alive. We have a new hub at www.vssystem.org. The forums are squeaky clean and ready for community building.

Meet me there. This is gonna be great.

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The Watchmen Lost Their Squid.

A man with the actual name “Orlando Parfitt” is reporting a bit of a spoiler for the Watchmen movie, although anyone who would not want to know has surely heard by now.

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The Huge, Annoying Tentacles that unite the world at the end of the Watchmen graphic novel? Toast.

Personally, I am bummed. Mostly because of my affinity for drippy trippy squippy things. A comment on the Newsarama announcement of this development contained a sentiment that sums up my remorse.

Spaz_Monkey wrote:

To be fair, the Squid Monster has a definite “Georgia O’Keefe” feel to it, if you know what I mean. I dunno how well that would be translated in the movie.

Spaz Monkey may be correct about the difficulty of filming such a thing, and it would have been tough to get past an “R” rating if they did it right, but I sure would have enjoyed it. Alas, no O’Keefe squidstuff for us. Back to Orlando Parfitt’s interview, shall we?

The big question: What have you got against the squid?!

Zack Snyder: I had a bad calamari experience as a child! Look I’ve got nothing against the squid. When I sat down with the studio and talked about the film, we had to make a decision about what stuff we included and what stuff we wouldn’t. For me Watchmen is all about the characters, whereas if we included the squid, I would have to illustrate it in the story and cut out some of the character. So I wanted more character and less story.

So we came up with something else – no-one knows yet what we’ve done but we hope it’s similar in philosophy to the ending of the graphic novel. I mean the end is all about taking a superhero all the way – you know it’s the bad guy who is the one who wants world peace. It’s a moral dilemma for all the characters involved.

Dave Gibbons: The tone of the graphic novel – the message, the moral ambiguity – has still been left intact. Also it’s not a squid; it’s a fifth dimensional phalymapod!

Fifth dimensional phalymapod, world uniting squid, whatever you want to call it, it is out. Oh well, at least we still have the squishy stuff in Hellboy.

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Finally, for anyone who is seriously bummed out about this inglorious removal of tentacles, just wait until you see how much they need to change when they adapt Alan Moore’s Promethea.

Somehow, we adjust.

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Filed under Comic Books, Promethea

More Hellboy, More Tease.

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Three things.

1. It really helps to watch Hellboy II: The Golden Army with the Brightness on the TV turned all the way up. I cannot stress this enough. The movie is too dark to see all the details unless you go with maximum Brightness.

2. Upper Deck’s Hellboy Essential Collection trading card game still tops the list. I spent all night reviewing each other potential champion, and it still wins. If you know someone who enjoys deep strategy and debauched myths, you MUST track it down and give it as a holiday gift.

3. Monday night, one minute after midnight, is Marvel Evolution Preview Time once again right here at Full Body Transplant. Check this discussion forum for an early tease.

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Filed under Vs. System