Thursday Thirteen: A Trip to Whoville.

(Cindy glowing, by McFarlane Toys)  

I was surfing around for inspiration this morning when I stumbled upon this:

http://www.neatorama.com/2007/12/18/the-whoville-register-whats-your-grinched-name/

If you love Cindy Lou Who as much as I do, click around in that link and discover what your name would be if you moved next door to her in Whoville.  I translated thirteen people just for fun.  

1. Romantic Rian Fimaru-Who 

That’s me, and the romantic part is dead on accurate.  I also love the fact that “Fimaru” can mean anything I want it to.  I always try to change my definition every day. 

2. Nurse Nina Wattle-poo-Who 

Nina was a Webb before we married, and she has been healing me ever since.  No matter what brings me down and darkens my mood, she is always there to squeeze it out of me with a kiss or a long talk or whatever it takes.  Even when we need to wattle-poo for the full hermetic effect. 

3. Magnificent Mark Funny-goo-Who 

That’s Mark Fidrych, my favorite sports hero.  He was wacky and wonderful and really good for a short while.  Phenomenal talent with a bizarre personality that made the entire baseball world smile for an entire season. 

4. Aggie Alanis Misty-blue-Who 

I actually resisted Alanis Morrisette when she was popular.  Now I respect her as much as any performer ever, especially after seeing the DVD edition of Feast on Scraps.  Highly recommended, the girl is a beast. 

5. Traveling Tom Ripple-blue-Who 

Tom Robbins is the best writer of our generation, in my humble opinion.  I will always marvel at the way he crams four hundred pounds of truth into a simple sentence that causes a laugh and a crap of the pants, out loud. 

6. Zippy Zazzala Quizzle-moo-Who 

Zazzalla Queen Bee may be a fictional comic book character, and her new card may not be very good, but her honey heats the War Paint.  It may never come off the kitchen table. 

7. Paparazzi Pete Sappy-glue-Who 

Pete Swanson is such a random pick.  He was a kitchen manager when Nina and I were cooking at Rainforest Cafe.  He was younger than both of us.  He made the most disgusting and rude remarks as he walked past, but he made them with love and we always laughed our way through the busy shifts.  I wish all bosses could be that cool. 

8. Suave Sister Alice Joseph Misty-blue-Who 

Sister Alice Joseph Moore was a tiny elderly nun that taught some of my Education classes at Barry University.  She looked exactly like Pope John Paul II, but wearing a habit.  She only scolded you if she saw promise, if you were a loser… she would never say a word. 

9. Barkeep Bradley Nitty-noo-Who 

Bradley Nowell was a musical genius, leaving behind perhaps the best hybrid music ever recorded.  Listen to some Sublime today.  You’ll be glad you did. 

10. Gargling Gloria Ewe-Who 

Another great boss, my life is freaking blessed!  Gloria Evans was the best principal I ever had in my 25 year career.  I would walk through an office full of quizzical looks and hear her say: “He’s an art teacher, they are all like that.  Just leave him alone, he will be fine.” 

11. Fancy Friedrich Nimmy-Nammy-Noo-Who 

Friedrich Nietzsche was a monster.  The kind of monster who affects millions of free spirits with his soul.  The kind of monster we need more of.  Check out the film “When Nietzche Wept” for a modern introduction. 

12. Kettledrum Kate Wambam-foo-Who 

Kate Winslet is the bomb.  Thick and luscious and really smart about the roles she picks.  They used to call her “Combat Kate” because she wore army boots and rolled her own cigarettes.  So. Damn. Gorgeous. 

13. Sergeant Steve Bippity-boo-Who 

Stephen Bauman is the best artist I have ever had the pleasure to teach. He may be the best artist I have ever known.  He is so good that he has a collector who buys everything he paints, and sends him all over the world for inspiration.  Steve came to our school addicted to writing on trains and getting arrested for vandalizing property with spray cans.  I argued with him for four years, telling him that graffiti is just like dog piss on a street corner.  Eventually he got it.  He has moved from jail cells in downtown Miami to the Florence Academy of Art.  I will post one of his recent paintings under this thread in the Forty Fifth Question of the Day.  Good times.

And that’s the last Thursday Thirteen before Christmas!  Make your own list and link it to: http://www.thursdaythirteen.com/

Happy Holidays, to one and all.