Thursday Thirteen: Protected By Angels?

(Space Bears by Juvaun Kirby, from Upper Deck’s Vs. System) 

I swear there are forces outside me that are guiding my shoes to step in EXACTLY the right piles.  And then I figure that my self is probably big enough to absorb everything outside of me anyway.  So I scamper off in my mind and discover a whole new corner.  I absolutely adore new explanations of life and how to live it.  Yesterday I saw a bumper sticker that said “Protected by Angels”.  I know the feeling.  Today, again on the way to work, the exact same car was stopped in front of me at a red light.  Sixty seconds earlier or later, and I would have not gotten the same synchronicity.  So I decided to jot down thirteen explanations for the phenomenon.

1. Angels are formed by swirly vortexes of luck.  Being in the right place at the right time is a skill, if you can follow the invisible connections that join every thing to every other thing.
2. We have spaghetti straps of love stuck to our shoulders.  This is a little bit like karma.  Everyone who is thinking good thoughts about you is sending you good vibes.  If you build up enough of this positive energy around your head, you will turn to look just in time to see the perfect thing.
3. Desire attracts.  There is a very interesting theory that we always get what we really want.  Your deepest desires have much more chance of happening, since you want them so bad.  Not many people can understand that, since they don’t really know what they really want.
4. This is God’s ant farm.  Who knows?  I tend to think we are all wrong, so this one has as good a chance as any.
5. There is no spoon.  You are a brain in a jar in my lab.  There is no way you can prove to me that you are not.  When you feel angels protecting you, you are having a real good trip.
6. Our selves play dominoes all over the place.  Like, if there are parallel universes created from the temporal branches proceeding from each moment, then the wings are created by all my other possible actions.
7. Some people just can’t let go.  Maybe the whole ghost thing happens when someone is too attached to the human with all its exquisite beauty.  Many cultures have believed it, so there has got to be something to it.
8. The human brain can create its own reality.  We cannot escape the images of the angel in this culture.  The pictures are everywhere.  What we see is what we get.
9. Rationalization is fun.  Saying “I accidentally stepped out of the way at just the right time” is fairly boring.
10. Space Bears!  That’s right.  You knew it was coming.  Aliens.  They are everywhere, and when they are not conducting their pointless probing experiments, they are angels.
11. Animal totems ROCK!  I have merged with squirrels.  Maybe the angels are human/bird hybrids who were really curious about the sensation of flight.
12. There is a war in heaven.  Tom Robbins had the best version of this in his masterpiece called Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates.  He talked about the neutral angels.  Some of the funniest profound prose ever.
13. I am an angel myself, and we protect our own.  It always feels good to belong to an exclusive club.  Whatever feelings make you feel best, those are the feelings you should practice.  Give yourself permission to choose the explanation of life that serves up the most bliss inside your little angel heart.  You’ll be glad you did, whether it is “true” or not.

Now you know where angels come from.  As soon as you come down from the heights of inspiration, write your own list of thirteen things you like to groove on and link them here: www.thursdaythirteen.com